.	Steve     >> Master of the melancholy

DISCLAIMER: There's a lot of swearing on this page. So if you want to sue anyone because your kid said "Fucking moose wanking whorehouse of fuck fuckers." sue Steve. Not RWS. This is his page, after all. Take it away, peeps.

Mike - 12/01/2002
What is it with people who are born in a country(e.g. England) bugger off to somewhere that i dont think is nice (e.g. Canada or Australia) and come back (to e.g. England) like 5 years later? I ask you. What is the point!!! Worse than a fucking pikey!!! And then that person thinks they have the right to come back, and tries to kill off my legendary site, doggiec.homestead.com???? I ask you, just because me and dan made some shit up bout how some cruise went wrong an shit and horny sex toys and left dan feeling used and abused (blah blah blah, we all know you loved every second of it!). See its shit like this that corrupts childs minds. With nothing to watch apart from pansy arsed tv like Salor moon and Cardcaptors on fricking CITV(get some fucking good anime's you stupid cunts!), its no wonder that children have morals......if site's like doggiec.homestead.com(plug!) werent fricking censored by somebody who has jurostiction(yes that means you i.t. teacher perv)(jurostiction big word!) then todays children would know that before homestead closed me down, i had 59.9% more stealth, then we wouldnt be in this mess in the first place. Who do i blame? Backwards Immigrants, People who bugger off somewhere, only to return back to their native country. But hey, if they wanna befriend a person with more gold then a pikey and a bunch of judgemental wankers, how is the world going to benefit? Now some one please et my straight jacket cos i've just lost the point to what i was ranting about.  My final words are this: remember for only nine more dollars, you can drink from the chese fountain in cinema's!

Steve - 11/07/2001
"Alright mate! How ya doing, I’m reckon I’m a bit pissed" *proceeds to throw up on your brand new rebok classics or whatever the fuck you wear, hopefully something made by RWS*. The plague that is drunken people, when your not drunk. How irritateing are they? You can be on the street, in a bus, in a club, fuck even the odd family gathering isn’t safe from them. Its almost as if drunken people have some kind of radar which picks up sober people and induces them into a state of near orgasmic pleasure. They’ll bound over like a dog and proceed with the verbal equivalent of humping your leg, a most un-pleasurable experience. Gah, I’m so livid I can barely type, that’s how much they piss me off, THAT FUCKING MUCH! Jesus, why the hell can’t every country have a system like they do in Ireland where everybody’s drunk, all the time, that way nobody really gives a shit about drunk people, they just don’t notice.
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Steve - 22/06/2001
Another day, another rant, ahhh the words I live by. *Warning, if you have any kind of heart condition or are pregnant look away now* ...A Director is casting for a new movie on the classical composers. Not expecting a great response to what is likely to be a fucking awful movie he is surprised to see Kiano Reeves and Arnold Swartzenegger sitting patiently waiting to be called up. Of course being such big stars he call them in first. Kiano comes in excitedly and starts talking like he’s on a mix of crack and speed. "Man you can’t belive how much I want to be in this movie man, its like… Wow, I just gotta be in it, as my favourite classical composer, Motzart, that guys the shit man! Like the way he’s dead and stuff, I like really need this role!" The rather shocked director, glad to have such a big star just hands over the contract to Kiano who eagerly signs it. Then the director turns his attention to Arnold, who says simply "I’ll be Bach"... *Its ok, you can look back now* Don't know what my rant is about yet? Well if your sitting there, face like a rock wondering why the hell you just wasted 30 seconds of your lfe reading the above drivel then you should. Crap jokes, why do people even waste time coming up with them, they must sit down one day while in a really sadistic mood and go "right today I’m gonna come up with the kinda joke that’s gonna make people want to hit me, yeah that’s a good idea. Come on people! We really shouldn’t have to stand up with this kind of shit from anybody, anytime and anywhere. Its time to strike back, hard. The plan goes like this, from now on everyone carries tennis balls around with them, all the time, your gonna have to eat sleep and make love to this thing if my plans gonna work. Now the next time you hear a really shit joke laugh along with the person. Wait for them to laugh too, and then jam the fucking ball down their throats, they’ll never be able to speak again and the world will be devoid of one less idiot who goes around making our lives a fucking misery.
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Steve - 13/06/2001
Bah, I’m pissed off, again.  How do they do it? These manufactured bands! There like fungus, they pop up everywhere, there like brand names, there like fucking Garys, they just come out of nowhere and make your life a fucking misery. (What, even Linkin Park? I kinda like them - Editor Dan) I mean, they’d be ok if it wasn’t for their existence, well and the fact that all the songs they spew forth from their putrid mouths are utter toss. “I love you you you” and “Come back baby” really don’t make for the most interesting songs lyrically. And that’s discounting the fact that the tunes could be played by a one fingered keyboardist, who was blind, and had leprosy with a chicken rammed up his posterior.
Why do the record companies dump these steaming piles of elephant dung into our ears? Young people that’s why, the 11-14 year olds who’ve just graduated from the tweenies and fucking bob the builder. They get gripped by their hormones. Girls get bitchy, talk about periods and which one of the boys has the biggest dick after the school disco. Boys get bitchy, start speaking like the vicars squeezeing their balls via some kind of remote controlled mouse trap and which one of the girls gave them a blow job after the school disco (they fucking wish). So next time some pathetic excuse for a musical band comes on top of the pops (not that you watch it, after all you’ve got far better things to be doing on a Friday night), ring up the BBC and start shouting “WANK!!!!!” at the top of your voice down the phone. Keep doing this for long enough and who knows, they may get the message, line up all the bands and hold a phone competition as to who gets to come in and mow them down with a machine gun.(Our overseas viewers can do this to MTV instead - Editor Dan) I tell you, if they made it pay-per view they’d make more money than those bands will ever, and it’ll be entertaining. Unlike, say, a vicar squeezing your balls via a remote controlled mouse trap.
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Steve - 11/06/2001
Man, is it just me or does the world get more fucked up with every day that passes? Its polling day in the good old UK, and their predicting the most pathetic turnout since Maggie Thatcher threatened to strip if she wasn’t re-elected. Will I be voting? Fuck no. Why not? Because what’s the fucking point? None of the party’s actually say their going to do anything I want, and their all the same. I’m tempted to vote Green, but the what’s the point in that? It’s not like the votes actually going to count for anything, with the older population of Surrey spouting "Keep the Pound" slogans till their colostamy bags fill up. What the fuck is with that anyway? You can’t vote before the age of 18, but then you can be 100, not actually remember your own name and still vote! Gahh, this makes me so pissed. I really dislike old people, well the ones who assume that anyone’s who’s black/ under the age of 25 is going to rape/mug/murder them. God help black guys under 25, its surprising they don’t get lynched by marauding bands of Grannies. (I walk the streets in fear every night - Editor Dan)
But anyway, back to the point, instead of going out to vote today, go down the pub and get so drunk you can’t actually see properly anymore. Then go to the polling station and vomit in the polling box’s, if everyone all over the country did this in protest the every vote in the country would be spoiled and the Government would fall. leading the way for us, at RWS to move in sieze power and make sure this country was run in a fair and democratic way, where people had to wear decent clothes, people could take whatever damn drugs they liked and Monkeys got piority seats on buses! (I was with you up to the monkeys - Voter Dan) Vote now, Vote RWS!
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Jason - 11/06/2001
Hey guys n gals. J here u know something me 'n my mates were part of a wrestling thing yeah every week we would got to the GYM n we will fight wrestle what ever dam it was good to be able to pick sum one up n slam them down n have your mates go "oooooh" was best thing I ever did at my college but u know what the man yes the man had to stop it just cause he could not do it just cause he wasn't part of it he had to come down n stop it we could of been famous we could of done something with our lives.
It was on every ones mind we gave it a name a manner of relief to theses with out non we stood up amongst the sheep and we fought a "fight club" in a manner of sense
It was Great!!
But now we have nothing No Gym No outlet for our mannerism and society wonders why so many kids' 2day turn to crime Its it all so plain cant you see why are you all so blind to our generations predicament cause don't any of u (That does it. I refuse to fix any more of the spelling and grammar in this - Overworked Dan) get that feeling you just want to smack sum one in the face so hard n watch them drop to the floor gripping their noses trying to stop the flow of blood poor helplessly from their nose all over the fucking expensive YSL suit huh would that make u feel so good if can just turn around n smack some in the face huh I know it would make me feel so much better BUT NOOOO it not allowed it classed as an "assault" BAH Fuck law.
Times I just want to take a gun into a crowed place an open fire watching the people helpless run and scream in terror, as the fall to the ground bleeding begging for help Mercy haa Mercy what does this world know of mercy, mercy is for those who know what mercy is in a world of drugs crime social problems racism and a so called "freedom" n democracy No there is no such place for Mercy here mercy is for an ideal world a world free of such scum a political race that only caters who those who the happen to incorporate in the parties aims or the area of the people who will vote,
Vote I voted to day you wanted to know what I did I did not vote for a particular party I showed my loyalty I Invalided the dam paper with what I thought was a concise aim at what should happen to each and every 1 of the loathing scummy whores who think they r better just because they are "politicians" Joy to them Joy to the fucking world
WOW I have Tony Blair as My PM Wow Don't I feel Fucking Special will my taxes decrees Nooo will I get More Money Noo U know what will happen people will complain 4 the next 5 years moan n moan the elect another government body n do the same thing again.
Freedom only exits on an island in the middle of fucking nowhere on your own Now that's freedom
The Only things that should matter to ne1 is the friends u have the fun u have and how much u can live be4 sum fucked up kid with a gun blows a hole in your @ss for a fucking £5.
Right now I am happy Not with the world social politics or the fucking governmental elections but No I am happy with who I have and who I am with I have GF who is great, for me and her, I am surrounded By my friends who are loyal and understanding who would do a hell of a lot more for me then Any Fucking Political candidates soldier policemen or God.
Right Now Right here.
Oh n family rule as well.  Well at times when it suit them to be nice >mumble<
So kids Eat your cookies Drink your Milk and load that gun correctly
Cuz one day you be aiming it in a world that doest exits
Breathing Bleeding Screaming SCUM OF THE EARTH! ???
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Steve - 06/06/2001
Jesus! Where do these people come from? Don't know what I'm talking about? Well I'll tell you. Tarts, they really piss me off. Now by tart I don't mean a girl who likes to show a bit of thigh every Friday night, I rather appreciate that. No I'm talking about the girls who'd rather suck your cock than say hi. No, I'm NOT gay. Think about it, these girls may as well hang signs round their neck saying "sexual gratification, price one drink". Its pointless, half the fucking fun with girls is feeling that you've actually won them over, even if you haven't. You may as well hire a hooker and pay her 25 quid, just so you don't have to put up with your chosen slut the morning after. I mean have you ever tried actually having a conversation with these girls? Its impossible, just look .
"Man, last night was great..."
"suck your cock?"
"no, not right now, I was just saying last night was good"
"suck your cock"
"no really, not now"
"suuucckk yooouuur coooock"
"could you stop that please?"
"SUCK YOUR COCK"
"Fucks sake"
See what I mean? Bloody hell, I'd recommend just cracking one off rather than even considering one of these girls. At least then you wouldn't have to put up with the indignity of knowing that absolutely every single man in a three mile radius has an intimate carnal knowledge of the back of this girls throat. So, what was my point again? Oh yeah, tarts are bad. Hang on, what the fuck am I saying?
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Steve - 05/06/2001
Right, now that Dans actually started this free rant thing (and had the good sence to make me in charge of it) I think we'll get down to the serious shit. You know what I really hate? People who give you excess information. You know what I mean, you can be having a conversation with them about the weather or something when suddenly they turn around and give you a little snippet of info that you really, not even in your darkest most perverse dreams didn't want to know. I'll give you an example straght out of my own life.
I was talking to some guy in the park the other day, think his name was Rob, Robby? Something like that, who gives a shit anyway? So I say to him, "You know man, isn't the world fucked up nowadays? You've got the wars, the poverty, the pollution and the Americans, how fucked is it all?" and after a decent bit of conversation he turns round to me and goes "I like humping dead mooses" ('Moose' - Grammar Dan). I mean what the fuck is that all about? For a second I thought Tom Green had used his evil satan given powers to control his body, that's a point, doesn't Tom Green actually look like satan? Fucking freak. What kind of normal person grows a beard like that anyway? They should have death squads roaming the streets picking off people with beards, and mullets too, god I hate mullets so badly. How can someone wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, see their stupid fucking mullet and not loose the will to live? Beats me totally. But then, almost everything does.
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Steve - 04/06/2001
Right, I saw the free rant link, tried to click on it, and what happens? Fuck all that's what. So my free rant is about unfinished fucking sites, like this one. What gives a web designer the right to lead us poor suckers on? They promise so much and what do they deliver? Sod all! It's like these porn sites Jasons always telling me about, they promise you Britney Spears nude / sucking cock / with a baseball bat up her ass (What the hell?? - Editor Dan), but what do you get if you click on the link? Absolutly fucking nothing. Its pathetic. I know theres no such thing as a free lunch (and why the fuck not I say) but if someone promises something then they should dam well stick by that promise, and not fob you off with shitty excuses like "I have A-levels at the moment" or " I trod on a landmine". It just doesn't cut it ok? Not now, and not ever.
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